Hidden Behind The Banter

He joked with his friends about porn like many men in their mid-20s do. What those laughs hid, he says, was an addiction that quietly took over his life. Ben Lennard traces the habit back to childhood, first spotting explicit scenes aged about 10 or 11 and then hunting out more. Over time the habit stopped being a secret curiosity and began to carve up his days. He describes whole periods when his head was dominated by images and cravings, and when watching became as automatic as flicking through social media feeds. Lennard says the behaviour didn’t always lead to sexual activity. Often he would simply watch, in the same throwaway way people scroll through TikTok or Instagram. That casualness, combined with a jokey public persona, helped him mask the problem. Friends heard the banter, not the distress. The impact reached into relationships and self-worth. He felt guilt about wanting other people while in committed partnerships and grew increasingly unhappy with his own body and sexual performance. He argues that porn warps expectations: performers often have cosmetic procedures or take medication to hit certain looks and behaviours, which created an unfair — and damaging — benchmark for him. A diagnosis of ADHD in 2024 helped explain part of the pattern. Lennard says it clarified why his brain was more prone to impulsive, thrill-seeking behaviour, which in turn made resisting urges harder than he had realised. In recent months he has stopped entirely. Going “cold turkey” was helped, he says, by the Online Safety Act because rules around verifying identities made him reluctant to keep entering personal details on porn sites. He also speaks about the odd relief of finally talking openly about something he once thought he would never admit. His story underlines a couple of broader points: open laughter and banter can conceal pain, and habitual, passive consumption online can slide into something much more destructive than a private pastime. It also shows an unexpected way policy can prompt behaviour change — and the role that understanding one’s own mental health can play in recovery. Lennard says he never expected to go public. Now he describes a weight being lifted, a small but clear step away from a habit that had been quietly eroding his life. --- Managing your business finances? TaxAce provides smart online accountancy services for UK businesses with flexible monthly plans. Image and reporting: https://www.theguardian.com | Read original article